Shortcuts to Happiness: Part xv

When I was a student, codes of dress, peer pressure, parents & teachers’ guidance on how to think & what to think coerced me into becoming an actor in my own life, playing parts that I believed I should perform for my own self preservation. I acquired and carried into adulthood, masks which often didn’t fit: the Mother mask, the teacher mask, the lover mask, the superwife mask, the business person mask, the secretary mask. Each mask possessed it own flow & rhythm.

Yes, even being a Mother I would have felt better and my children would have responded better to the essence of me, instead of the mask. Sometimes I would feel or sense a dissonance between the masks energy and my own inner feelings. A struggle of the true inner me of letting go & showing my kids my love and truth about me. I didn’t have to abandon the activities we had chosen, but once free of the masks, we could review and consider the activities from a happier place within. I received the best compliment of my life when my 6 year old granddaughter told me that I was like a little child whilst I was playing on the floor with her dolls house.

What happens if we listen more closely to our inner inclinations as we greet each situation? What if we drop the “shoulds” “have to’s” and “musts” and replace them with innocence, spontaneity and curiosity?

We often uphold standards without questioning them. Most significantly, in the process we deny entire aspects of ourselves and squeeze the ‘bigness’ of ourselves into a tight confining role. Funnily enough we adjust to the confinement and then fear breaking through the barriers we helped erect.

I am not suggesting we behave differently from the responsibilities and morals that we were taught, but could we be parents who are honest, open, strong, vulnerable, sometimes clear or confused? As wives and husbands could we not be authentic in our feelings, concerns and love and be willing to tear down the walls of silence we may have
built? As business men and women could we value sincerity and straight talk as a powerful tool to build trust with our clients, customers and co-workers? To be respectful, open, honest and dealing with people in a loving manner. Even if we had no guarantee of results, how would it feel to allow ourselves the full expression of who we are?