Shortcuts to Happiness: Part vi

Is happiness a reality or an impossible dream? What does it mean to be happy? Some call happiness a feeling of satisfaction, comfort, fulfillment, and inner peace. Others refer to joy, excitement or sexual pleasures. The sensation of happiness might be unique to each of us; however we do know when we’re there.

We can note certain common characteristics. When we are happy we are accepting of ourselves (not judging ourselves) When we are happy with others, we are accepting of them (not judging others) Happiness brings us closer together rather than pushing us apart. But above all, happiness makes love possible. To love someone fully and completely is to be happy with that person, to accept him without judgments and be happy for his existence. To love ourselves fully and completely is to be happy and completely accepting of whom we are.

How many times have we said as children, to our parents or as adults to our spouses and friends say to close companions “can’t you just love and accept me as I am?” What we are really saying is “please just be happy with me” We might be saying that we are willing to change but “please don’t let your love be conditional on the changing”

Most of us hide away from the criticisms of others, but how much do we criticize ourselves? At home in the mirror or perhaps in a reflection of a shop window we will condemn ourselves for being too fat, or we tell ourselves that we are too slow, too stupid or too ugly. What we may silently or verbally ask from others, we deny ourselves. But we can become the ‘gift givers’ to others and ourselves, and the gift that we can offer is our happiness and the peace, love and acceptance that flow from us.

Without the thunder clouds of dis-ease (discomfort) fear, anger, depression, anxiety, hate, jealousy, sadness we free ourselves to see more clearly, to understand more deeply, and to be more open and energized in all pursuits of our lives. In contrast, unhappiness takes its daily toll on our lives. Unhappiness diverts us, diminishes our stamina, drains our energy and leaves us feeling depleted and performing an endless variety of self defeating acts like drug addiction, alcoholism, child abuse and physical ailments such as stomach ulcers or cancer, that are all testimonials to misery.

There is no single energy that has more impact on the universe than the joy and well being emanating from a truly happy, loving, person. When we are committed to creating a peaceful new world, inside and out, the old beliefs and ideas become irrelevant.

So we have to begin someplace or with someone so why don’t we start with you and me and with whomever else decides to pursue happiness with strength and passion. A very wise person once told me that “I am the only problem that I have therefore I am the only solution that I need!” It’s our choice - as it has always been.